The Kids These Days

The Brainy Gamer opens a new post on quality and E-rated games by asking what someone might do if they wanted to find a good game for their kids.  He suggests looking on an aggregator site like Gamerankings and notes that only two games have been well-reviewed recently by at least 20 publications.  Quite reasonably, he wonders if we should reassess how much attention we’re paying to these types of games, lest we ignore good titles in favor of “shoddy, cynical efforts to squeeze money out of the least knowledgeable segment of the game-buying public.”

I actually disagree.

I recently rewatched a few episodes of He-Man, which came out on DVD.  I adored He-Man, and his female counterpart She-Ra, when I was younger.  I was shocked to discover that the show was pretty terrible.  And that’s the crux of the issue: I see nothing wrong with rewarding quality, but “quality” isn’t how you need to evaluate a children’s game. 

The reason your kids demand the latest Spongebob game isn’t because they enjoy the game mechanics any more than I liked Tiny Toon Adventures for its innovative platforming.  (I still think it’s a great game.)  They want it because they enjoy playing in the Spongebob universe.  This is antithetical to the function of a site like Gamerankings, which are there to help players find the “best” games using a very specific type of yardstick: what reviews are there to measure is to some extent subjective but largely a function of someone looking for the next new thing.  It’s not being staffed by kids, who may like games that are downright terrible - I know I loved games that I can barely stand to play today.

In that vein, simply covering these games more won’t really help very much, because kids aren’t interested in gameplay or innovation or graphics or even story per se.  Parents may find the most thought-provoking games possible, but it won’t really matter that much to them.  (I wasn’t fooled by Number Munchers; I knew I was doing math, and it was better than nothing… but I’d still have preferred Super Mario Brothers.)  Picking games you think are good for your kids may very well do them some good, but not because you’re finding something they’ll necessarily love to play.

There may very well be room for a “kids-oriented” review site out there, but it would have to be very different than any site today: made for the fans and by the fans.  A rental is probably a better bet.