Talk About Nitpicking

You know, I haven’t even played Smash Bros. yet and these complaints still irritated me.  (I’ll get around to it, but I’m leaving the country for a couple of weeks and becoming obsessed with something beforehand seemed like a lousy idea.)  There’s a big difference between a genuine flaw and an idiosyncracy/impossibility.  Herewith, my review of Multiplayer Blog’s Top 10 Things Missing from Smash Bros. Brawl,” also known as me whining about whining.

1.  Worldwide Simultaneous Release: If you’re constitutionally unable to avoid reading spoilers about games that are published elsewhere all of one month before they’re published here, you shouldn’t be blaming it on the publisher.

2.  Downloadable Content: If you’re complaining that the game gave you too much of its features for free, and should hold some of them back until you cough up DLC fees, you either have way too much money or you’re an industry figure who gets this stuff for free.

3.  More Characters: Any game is going to have to draw the line somewhere.  SSBB has expanded the number of characters exponentially, and if it doesn’t include every character in existence it’s hardly a failure.  Talk about looking a gift Kid Icarus in the mouth.

4.  Unlocking Incentive Content: Again, I have absolutely no desire to be forced to purchase another product in order to fully enjoy the one I just bought.  Bad Multiplayer Blog!  Bad!

5.  DS Connectivity: The holy grail of handheld connectivity was something that was long-promised, finally delivered, and ultimately unsatisfying.  I’m sure there must be some way to add to the experience with a handheld, but I haven’t seen it yet and don’t have a lot of confidence that I will in the near future.

6.  2D Fighting Mode: Really, not a bad idea, but you’re contemplating an entirely different game and experience than SSBB is designed to deliver.  To be really worth including (read: worth playing for longer than a few trials), a 2D fighter would have to be much more complex than an optional mode would permit.

Other than that, I’m on board!  (I really do like the Create-A-Mii idea.)